“It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see..."
"You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?"
"No," said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like so straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."
"Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."
"I did," said Ford. "It is."
"So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't people get rid of the lizards?"
"It honestly doesn't occur to them," said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want."
"You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"
"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course."
"But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"
"Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?"
Douglas Adams,
So Long and Thanks for All the Fish
When I first read the passage above in Douglas Adams’ “So Long and Thanks for All the Fish” it amused me, but I didn’t really get it. Thirty-three years later, as I stood in a voting booth contemplating the choices laid before me, I really got it. The only reason I could think of not to spoil my ballot and go to the pub was a fear that, if I did, the wrong lizard might win.
It’s increasingly easy to say that UK politics is broken, because it’s self evident that the politicians do not serve the electorate. But if you recognise that Politicians serve themselves first, then their party, then whoever funds their party, you’ll see that politics is working just fine for the people they prioritise. It’s just sad that people like you and me come far, far down that list of priorities.
The goal of the Wrong Lizards is simple; put voters back at the heart of politics. To do that people like you and me are going to have to become more active and harder to ignore. We’re going to have to show up.
If you’ve ever described yourself as “politically homeless”, this might be for you. I used to use that term myself, but it’s become increasingly clear to me that my political home is right where it always was, it’s just been occupied by the worst kind of anti-social squatters.
It’s time we kicked them out.